My talk from Sunday

Sacrament Meeting Talk: Remarks based off of an address given by Elder Paul V. Johnson “More Than Conquerors Through Him That Loved Us”.

Elder Johnson said that,“Earth life includes tests, trials, and tribulations, and some of the trials we face in life can be excruciating. Whether it be illness, betrayal, temptations, loss of a loved one, natural disasters, or some other ordeal, affliction is part of our mortal experience. Many have wondered why we must face difficult challenges. We know that one reason is to provide a trial of our faith to see if we will do all the Lord has commanded. Fortunately this earth life is the perfect setting to face—and pass—these tests.”

Each of the tests that Elder Johnson mentions are painful in their own right. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain can be crippling, to the point that we may ask ourselves, as the Prophet Joseph did, “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?...how long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, year thy pure eye, behold from the Eternal heavens the wrongs…of thy servants?”

While broken bones, courtships, and expectations lead to what the Lord really wants in us- a broken heart- I have found that there is a certain brand of trial that seem to gnaw deeper at my soul, cause more sleepless nights, and require long talks with my mom and roommates than any other: loneliness.

Loneliness comes in all shapes and sizes, some of a trivial, and some of an eternal nature. It can be the desire to be doing something on a weekend night, wanting someone to celebrate or commiserate with after seeing a score in the testing center, or just wanting, as our friends from Queen have said, “somebody to love.”

Loneliness involves all pain that I can imagine, emotional, mental, spiritual, and can lead to lasting physical problems.

May I share with you a story from my own life about loneliness? The purpose of sharing my feelings is not a request for sympathy, we all have our lonely times, but rather an example of how we can become trapped in our own disappointments, and forget that there is always, always, always, a way out, but only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

In the past six months, I feel like I’ve lost my best friends, though for the best reasons possible. One friend, is currently in Russia, serving a mission, and one of my best friends got married to the girl of his dreams. When the one left, and my roommate moved out at the end of Fall semester, I was able to convince myself that nothing was wrong.

I couldn’t come to grips with the fact that I was lonely. Because these events started in December, it was easy to attribute my feelings to finals and fatigue. Eventually, I felt that I was simply jealous. I wish I had found the girl of my dreams, and that I had somehow tricked her into marrying me. I wish that I was back out on a mission, serving the Lord to the best of my ability. Though these might have been true, I don’t think that envy was the root of how I was feeling.

I knew that my loneliness would end, that I would find the answers to my prayers, feel comfort, and not feel so alone anymore. My answer came one night, while studying Preach My Gospel and looking up corresponding scriptures on the Atonement, I read Isaiah 53, and it touched me in a way that I had never felt before. Here, we can read the prophecy concerning the Savior, what He went through in the Atonement, and why it was important.

3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

I realized that I felt abandoned by the only person who would never abandon me. Because of my resentment towards others I could not accept the Atonement in my life.I did not understand the most important part of all: that after all the Savior went through, the hardest experience anyone has every been through “with His stripes we are healed.” In the end, the process of the Atonement, the Savior being rejected, despised, and smitten, meant that He could empathize with us when we feel “rejected…smitten of God and afflicted.”

Upon reading these words, I reflected of the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, words that I have often felt could describe the Savior:

"He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it…It faced--or seemed to face--the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself."

The Lord was able to comfort, because He has been through every single trial that I have, that you have, that we all have! We are able to feel His love when we strive to reach out to Him. He knows of the debilitating power of loneliness. He had been through them Himself.



Elder Holland has taught: “Jesus must have been prepared intellectually and physically, but perhaps not emotionally and spiritually—that concluding descent into the paralyzing despair of divine withdrawal when He cries in ultimate loneliness, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me… For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone.”



Elder Johnson added: Our Heavenly Father loves us, and we “know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.” 18 Someday when we get to the other side of the veil, we want more than for someone just to tell us, “Well, you’re done.” Instead, we want the Lord to say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Feelings of loneliness are not sins. The Savior Himself experienced them, as has every person who has ever walked the Earth.

Joseph Smith once wrote that “I have been…melancholy and down in the dumps.” Imagine the Prophet’s loneliness, he being placed with the great blessing and burden of the Restoration. For a time shouldering the burden of the Book of Mormon alone. Having many of his closest friends and advisors denounce him and his character, some even claiming that God had ceased to support him. Moving county to county, state to state, losing family members, friends, children, and converts. And perhaps the most lonely of all, being taken to Carthage from Nauvoo, looking back at the city that had been built largely on his inspiration and leadership, and knowing that he was never going to see it again.

Thomas S. Monson, when called as a mission president, never having served a mission himself, traveled to Canada with his wife and family, and retired in the backyard. He prayed for help. He prayed for strength, and to do what the Lord wanted him to do. He prayed that he would never lose one of his missionaries, and that he would be led by the Spirit. It took time, but he learned by the Spirit how to lead those missionaries, and didn’t have to send a single missionary home. From feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure, an important step was made in the eternal progression of a prophet of God.

My belief is that we must all feel lonely to become closer to God. When we feel alone, forsaken, and misunderstood, we find that we have never truly been alone. We see that “His arms have been stretched out all the day long,” and that He has been diligently seeking to “gather us, as a hen gathereth her chickens beneath her wings.”

Have you ever seen a picture of Jesus, where His arms are closed, or He is not looking at someone? Have you ever seen a picture of the Savior leaving someone alone? I have not. He seeks to envelop in the arms of His love, and to bless all those what will come unto Him.”

I have found that, in the words of Ezra Taft Benson, "men and women who turn their lives over to God will find out that he can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and [most importantly], pour out peace."

The Lord is there. Waiting for each of us to take His extended arm.

Dating and Change

I’ll preface by saying that I’m going to be talking about dating. If you don’t want to continue, I won’t be offended.

Still here? Thanks. Means a lot! And let’s face it: if you can use it in dating, you can use it in something far less complicated, like the rest of your life. In fact, I can think how this can apply to serving others, going to the Temple, learning new skills, and especially sharing the Gospel with others. I hope you’ll feel the same way.

Repentance is something I wish that I was better at. Right now I’m not even really thinking of repentance from sin, but rather more at the Greek root of repentance, “a change of mind.” I’ve been thinking a lot (I guess this isn’t really a new thing) about how I can change my mind.

I’ve been thinking about how I should be able to do the things that I want to. I should be able to have the confidence to date, to talk to those I would like to take out. I should just man up and take a chance...and yet I don’t. There. I said it.

I am fully capable of dating. I have the ability to open my mouth and talk to somebody I’m interested in, and that I think might be interested in me. I am fully capable of planning easy, cheap, and fun dates (or at least I think they’re fun).

So why don’t I do it? Because I haven’t seen success in awhile. I haven’t met someone that I care about that cares as much about me. That’s fine, I mean, I’m young, 22. I’ve heard a lot of “comforting” phrases telling me that everything is OK, and will continue to be OK. “There’s plenty of time,” “plenty of fish in the sea,” and “you just haven’t met the right girl yet, but when you do, she’ll be the luckiest girl in the world.” But let’s be honest: did any these things actually make anybody feel better?

I know I’m young. I know there’s plenty of great girls out there. I know that when I meet the right girl, things will be great. That comes from having faith that God has a plan for me, and that I do my best to follow His plan. I hope I don’t sound rude, or self-righteous, that’s not my purpose, but it’s how I feel. Everything works out. I have a testimony of it all working out, perhaps more than any other aspect of the Gospel (outside of knowing that God knows me and my needs, and that His Son has overcome all).

I just wish I knew how things were going to work out. I wish I knew exactly what to do, and how to do it. But guess what? I don’t.

But I decided this week, that I can’t do anything about not knowing what to do. I can’t do anything about not knowing what’s going to come. And when I decided this, I ran across a scripture from Ezekiel 36:

26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

I have truly had a heart of stone. I’ve refused to see the bright side, and I’ve refused to see what I can control. I can open my mouth. I can do my best to open doors, and make a girl laugh, I can be active in my church callings, and be willing to serve at a moment’s notice.

I can plan dates that are interesting and different, but not over the top or expensive. I can put myself out there, get a phone number, and then *gasp* call. I could probably even do something like allow myself to get set up (I hate it).

And I will.

So that’s my goal this week: to allow my new heart a chance at being more happy. To not anguish over things that I can’t do, and do something that I almost never do: ask a girl out that I don’t know very well. Do my best to be polite, and funny, and sincere (which is who I hope I am?) and then see where things go.

I’m not sure why I just thought of this, but when Moses and the children of Israel are escaping from Pharaoh, Moses didn’t know what to do until they were on the banks of the Red Sea what he was supposed to do. Then, the voice of the Lord came to Moses, telling him what to do, and how to do it. And the rest is history.

I hope my efforts yield the results I’m looking for, but hey, if not, there isn’t a pack of Egyptians coming after me (that I’m aware of). I hope that each of your endeavors this week, that you feel that your heart has turned to stone, and that you need encouragement in find success, as you put forth your faith and “turn to” where you want to go, and what you want to do.

I know that the Lord is the only way that we can do that. I know that because He has changed my heart again and again, and gently teaches me what I can do to become happier.

And I know the same thing will work for you. With all my heart.

God is the Great Compensator

Levi Ashton Cox was a remarkable LDS pioneer. After returning home to England from military service in India, he was exposed to the Church through his mother. Levi met and married his wife Susannah and was soon thereafter baptized. It took many years, but his wife also joined the Church after a blessing from the LDS missionaries confirmed to her the truthfulness of the Restoration. Several years later, they emigrated to the United States. While traveling via train from New York to Nebraska, all of their possessions caught fire in the train’s boxcar. Left with very little, the family traveled to Salt Lake City, and then later to Idaho. After a lack of farming success in Idaho, Levi and his family moved to Muskrat Springs, in what is now Hooper, Utah. Several of Levi’s neighbors obtained a grant to build an irrigation canal to Muskrat Springs. Levi and his wife prayed about settling in Muskrat Springs permanently, and felt impressed to stay and farm there. Levi agreed to dig his share of the ditch, in order to bring water to his farm. The shares were 16 ½ feet wide and 5 feet deep, with several yards being divvied up as labor, for the right to access to the canal.

Actually digging the canal is when things became difficult. In the boxcar fire that burned their belongings en route to Nebraska, Levi lost his shovel and all other digging equipment. The Cox family faced a difficult decision—leave Muskrat Springs, or somehow come up with the financial means to purchase a shovel. In their destitute condition, Levi and Susannah decided to pawn her wedding ring to raise funds.

Pawn her wedding ring. I can’t imagine the anguish and the long walk to the store where they sold it. I can’t imagine how the shop owner felt, nor how Levi felt looking at the short spade (not even a full-size shovel) gained from the pawning of the cherished ring.

But he did dig the shares, built a farm, raised his children, and lived his life. He performed in plays, he sold some groceries on the side, and did everything possible to make a return on that precious investment. Some years later, Susannah passed away, leaving a legacy of faith and sacrifice that the community remembers today.

Several years after Susannah had died, Levi went back into the store, probably looking to purchase some tools or groceries. The shopkeeper asked him if he wanted to purchase the ring that he had pawned decades before. The shopkeeper had been saving it for those many years, waiting for Levi to come back into the store and buy it back. In what I imagine was a tender moment, Levi purchased the ring back, and gave it to his daughter. The ring remains a prized possession of the family today, who still reside in Hooper, Utah.

What can this story of faith and sacrifice teach us about the Gospel? It teaches us that we don’t know what lays in store for us. It teaches us that we can overcome things that we can’t control. It teaches us that when we don’t know what to do, the Lord will lead us in what to do, though what He requires may not be easy.

But I believe more than anything, it teaches us that the Lord is always there in our sacrifice. I believe that the Lord will never require us to do something for which
we will not be rewarded.

The Lord has said, “And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.” (Matthew 19:29)

He has also said “If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea; If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters…and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb…if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” (Doctrine and Covenants 122:5-7)

When Levi pawned the ring, he could not have expected the ring to be available to reclaim decades later. It was probably something that he did not think about much anymore, a sacrifice that had paid off many times what it had cost in effort and money. The shopkeeper had been holding the ring without being asked and without expectation of reward. But he was able to bless Levi by giving him exactly what he wanted, to unexpectedly restore what Levi and Suannah had sacrificed at such great emotional cost. It reminds me of what was taught by Elder Joseph B. Withlin:

“The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Come What May, and Love It,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 26–28)

Levi was compensated for his sacrifice and effort, just as each of us will be, provided that we sacrifice with an eternal perspective, with a view of the end from the beginning. If we recognize the eternal compensation when it comes, our effort will not truly be sacrifice, but just a step in building faith. The trial will become a defining experience, and looked back upon with joy. Today’s sorrows will become tomorrow’s triumphs.

He WANTS Us to Succeed

You know, it’s a fascinating thing, that our prayers are answered. God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy commands us to pray to Him, in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Not only did He create us, He has an active part in our lives, and wants to know how we feel and what we want from our own lips. I was thinking about how He wants to hear from us, and He is willing to give us feedback when we ask for it.

Prayer is an intensely personal thing. Our conversations with Deity may be brief or lengthy, articulate or disjointed, but they are all heard by God. Richard G. Scott has said, “Prayer is a supernal gift of our Father in Heaven to every soul. Think of it: the absolute Supreme Being, the most all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful personage, encourages you and me, as insignificant as we are, to converse with Him as our Father. Actually, because He knows how desperately we need His guidance, He commands, "Thou shalt pray vocally as well as in thy heart; yea, before the world as well as in secret, in public as well as in private."1
I have had many experiences with prayer, and I believe that there are 3 general answers that we receive from prayer. First, a “yes.” Second, a “no.” And third, a “wait.” While “yes” and “no” are the answers we are generally looking for, I’ve found that the third kind, the “wait” answer is the most common. I’ve found that it is also the most frustrating.

I feel that I am as susceptible, if not more susceptible to think about how things would be easier if I knew exactly what was going to happen. I have a firm faith that things will work out, I would just like a detailed outline of how and when things are going to happen. When talking with my dad on matters of personal advice, he said “I wish I had a telegram from God to tell you what to do, but I don’t. I just know that things work out how they are supposed to, and that we all spend a lot of time worrying about things that we can’t control or know.”
I’ve been feeling this a lot recently. This will be my first semester (Fall) in my major, and I wonder if I am doing what is right. Should I be a teacher? Can I really be successful as an author? Will dumb things that I have done in my past come back to haunt me as I try and be an example of a faithful example? Would anyone ever want to pay tuition to hear me teach? To these things I have no answer, other than it feels like what I should do. Does it make sense to me all the time? No. But each time I think of what else I could be doing, it always goes back to the feeling that I had last October: “you can do what you want. But you know what you love.”

Another feeling that I have had is that I don’t do enough. That I can be a better friend, example, family member, co-worker, disciple, student, and person. I think we all feel from time to time as if we are wholly insignificant in the eternal scheme of things, and that it would be easier to stop trying. Actually, I think more about how it would be easier to stop caring. Not measuring up wouldn’t hurt nearly as badly if I didn’t care so much. For instance, I don’t really care that I’m in the bottom tier of fencing or sewing sequins. But I really do care that I perform with all my heart in callings, that I get good grades, that I am a good friend. And so that’s why I think it kills me when I don’t live up to my ideal of what I could and should do.

Whilst pondering this last weekend on this very subject, I attended a homecoming of a dear friend from high school. I remembered how I felt in giving my homecoming, that I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to communicate how I felt about my mission, and my testimony. I wanted to do my best, and I wanted each person in the congregation to know that I had given everything that I had and more. I wanted no doubt in anyone’s mind that I had changed through hard work and the Atonement of Christ.

And then memories of each time I was disobedient, or made a mistake, or was unkind, or was late to a dinner appointment came to my mind. I couldn’t write down my feelings, it was too hard to focus on what had gone right, when there was so much that I had done imperfectly. Feeling crushed by my weakness and imperfection, I followed hitherto forgotten advice from my mission president, to pray to know that the Lord accepted my service, and that my efforts were received with happiness from the Lord who had sent me. I felt peace, and was able to organize my thoughts into an outline of what I wanted to say.

When the time came to speak, I don’t remember much of what I said. But I do remember looking into the tearful eyes of one of my best friends, as she gave me the thumbs up. And more importantly, I remember the words of the Savior that echoed back to me as I sat down, “well done, thou good and faithful servant, thou hast been faithful over a few things…enter thou into the joy of thy lord.” Hearing those words echo back to me meant more than I can say. And they still meant much, nearly 18 months later, after being brought to my memory by the Spirit

I don’t say this to toot my own horn, or to say that I was exceptional. I say this because each and every one of else can receive the same assurance, that our efforts are accepted of the Lord. Whether it be for a sacrament meeting talk, or primary lesson, home teaching, or giving a blessing. The words can and will echo back to you. Those words will mean a lot, especially with our society’s focus on the negative, and to point out everything that doesn’t reach our standard of success. As my Sunday School teacher said yesterday, “if we base our success off of what we see as success in those we love and want to succeed, we will find ourselves happier, and know when we have succeeded more often.”

Steven Dalton once said that “when we look back on our service, we will remember the joys and successes of our services, we will forget what went wrong.” I find this to be true as time goes on, for myself. Time seems to heal all wounds, and today’s tragedies turn into tomorrow’s comedies. But when the sting of seeming failures seem to overwhelm, pray to know that the Lord accepted your efforts, regardless of the outward results.

I know that the Lord sent us here to be successful, and puts us in situations to be successful, if we will do what He asks us to do. I know that He will guide us by His Spirit if we will do what He asks. And I know that even if we have wronged or been wrong, He CAN and WILL make it right…if we will let Him.

THANKS DAD

Fathers are given to us, that we may have models to live our lives after. While none of our fathers are perfect, they give us a pattern of leadership, love, and righteousness (in best case scenarios).

Our Heavenly Father loves us. Sometimes it is difficult to fathom, when we

don't get what we want.
don't follow His rules.
don't understand what He is teaching us.

Doesn't this sound a lot like our relationships with our earthly fathers? How many of us realized that Dad having us do chores would be a blessing in our lives? That doing well in school, serving others, and correcting us when are wrong would be some of the best things for us?

I am not a parent. But I recognize the complexity of raising children with different personalities, strengths, weaknesses, personalities, and motivations; alongside holding a job, serving in Church, the neighborhood, and in many cases, our nation.

Fathers are also responsible for teaching. The best thing that I learned from my Dad was how to serve. Whether it was driving the Teachers in South Carolina to a stake dance that was 2 hours away, or hometeaching, whether it was setting a pattern in serving a mission, or doing the dishes on Sunday after dinner, he is always serving. In addition to teaching me to love the Lord, he taught me how to be the Lord's hands. He showed me the Lord's love, by serving the Lord that he loves.

President Uchtdorf has said:

"True love requires action. We can speak of love all day long—we can write notes or poems that proclaim it, sing songs that praise it, and preach sermons that encourage it—but until we manifest that love in action, our words are nothing but “sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.”11

Christ did not just speak about love; He showed it each day of His life. He did not remove Himself from the crowd. Being amidst the people, Jesus reached out to the one. He rescued the lost. He didn’t just teach a class about reaching out in love and then delegate the actual work to others. He not only taught but also showed us how to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.”12

Christ knows how to minister to others perfectly. When the Savior stretches out His hands, those He touches are uplifted and become greater, stronger, and better people as a result.

If we are His hands, should we not do the same?"

Thanks Dad. And thanks to all you "dads" I have out there. To friends, mentors, employers, teachers, and leaders, thank you. Your service and compassion is a sermon all its own.

The Most Important Person To Forgive

This is the post of the week, I have been thinking that there are others like me who have a hard time forgiving themselves. Think of the tender words that President Hinckley shares, and then think about how you would apply them in forgiving others. Then think about something you can forgive yourself for.

I feel that we as a society are plagued by guilt, not all caused by sin. I feel that in the culture of today, when anything that anybody does could be on Twitter, Facebook, or sent in a text message, I feel that others will never forget the things that I do wrong.

Which is silly. Because if we, who have full access to our intentions and abilities in any given situation can't find it in our hearts to forgive ourselves, how can we truly forgive others? Why are we so much more apt to forgive others than ourselves? For the same reason that it SHOULD be easy to forgive ourselves: we know EXACTLY what we could do.

Let me tell you a secret: we can't do everything that we have the ability to do, in every instance of every day. Just accept it. Work hard, follow the Spirit, and accept the consequences. Please think of something that bothers you, and confront it. Whether you need help from a friend, counselor, or Church leader to talk it out, you will always find help when you seek it.

We are commanded to forgive all men. (D&C 64:10) This surely includes ourselves.


Gordon B. Hinckley, “Forgiveness,” Ensign, Nov 2005, 81

Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way.
Image

My dear brothers and sisters, I thank my Father in Heaven that He has prolonged my life to be a part of these challenging times. I thank Him for the opportunity of service. I have no desire but to do all that I can in furthering the work of the Lord, in serving His faithful people, and in living at peace with my neighbors.

I recently traveled around the world, more than 25,000 miles, visiting Alaska, Russia, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, India, Kenya, and Nigeria, where in this last place we dedicated a new temple. We then dedicated the Newport Beach California Temple. I have just been to Samoa for another temple dedication, another 10,000 miles. I do not enjoy travel, but it is my wish to get out among our people to extend appreciation and encouragement, and to bear testimony of the divinity of the Lord’s work.

I often think of a poem I read long ago. It goes like this:

Let me live in a house by the side of the road,
Where the race of men go by—
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.

I would not sit in the scorner’s seat,
Or hurl the cynic’s ban;—
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
(Sam Walter Foss, “The House by the Side of the Road,” in James Dalton Morrison, ed., Masterpieces of Religious Verse [1948], 422)

That is the way I feel.

Age does something to a man. It seems to make him more aware of the need for kindness and goodness and forbearance. He wishes and prays that men might live together in peace without war and contention, argument and conflict. He grows increasingly aware of the meaning of the great Atonement of the Redeemer, of the depth of His sacrifice, and of gratitude to the Son of God, who gave His life that we might live.

I wish today to speak of forgiveness. I think it may be the greatest virtue on earth, and certainly the most needed. There is so much of meanness and abuse, of intolerance and hatred. There is so great a need for repentance and forgiveness. It is the great principle emphasized in all of scripture, both ancient and modern.

In all of our sacred scripture, there is no more beautiful story of forgiveness than that of the prodigal son found in the 15th chapter of Luke. Everyone should read and ponder it occasionally.

“And when [the prodigal] had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

“And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

“And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

“And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

“I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

“And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

“And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

“And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son” (Luke 15:14–21).

And the father caused that a great feast should be held, and when his other son complained, he said to him, “It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found” (Luke 15:32).

When there has been wrongdoing and then there has come repentance, followed by forgiveness, then literally the offender who was lost is found, and he who was dead is made alive.

How wonderful are the blessings of mercy and forgiveness.

The Marshall Plan following World War II with the gift of millions of dollars helped put Europe on its feet.

In Japan, after this same war, I saw great steel mills, the money for which I was told had come from America, Japan’s former enemy. How much better this world is because of the forgiveness of a generous nation in behalf of its former enemies.

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord taught:

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

“But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

“And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.

“And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

“Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matt. 5:38–44).

Those are very strong words.

Do you really think you could follow that injunction? They are the words of the Lord Himself, and I think they apply to each of us.

The scribes and Pharisees brought before Jesus a woman taken in adultery so that they might entrap Him.

“But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

“And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

“And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

“When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

“She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:6–11).

The Savior taught of leaving the ninety and nine to find the lost sheep, that forgiveness and restitution might come.

Isaiah declared:

“Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil;

“Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” (Isa. 1:16–18).

The great crowning love of the Savior was expressed when in His dying agony He cried out, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

In our day the Lord has said in revelation:

“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:9–10).

The Lord has offered a marvelous promise. Said He, “He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).

There are so many in our day who are unwilling to forgive and forget. Children cry and wives weep because fathers and husbands continue to bring up little shortcomings that are really of no importance. And there also are many women who would make a mountain out of every little offending molehill of word or deed.

A time back, I clipped a column from the Deseret Morning News, written by Jay Evensen. With his permission, I quote from a part of it. Wrote he:

“How would you feel toward a teenager who decided to toss a 20-pound frozen turkey from a speeding car headlong into the windshield of the car you were driving? How would you feel after enduring six hours of surgery using metal plates and other hardware to piece your face together, and after learning you still face years of therapy before returning to normal—and that you ought to feel lucky you didn’t die or suffer permanent brain damage?

“And how would you feel after learning that your assailant and his buddies had the turkey in the first place because they had stolen a credit card and gone on a senseless shopping spree, just for kicks? …

“This is the kind of hideous crime that propels politicians to office on promises of getting tough on crime. It’s the kind of thing that prompts legislators to climb all over each other in a struggle to be the first to introduce a bill that would add enhanced penalties for the use of frozen fowl in the commission of a crime.

“The New York Times quoted the district attorney as saying this is the sort of crime for which victims feel no punishment is harsh enough. ‘Death doesn’t even satisfy them,’ he said.

“Which is what makes what really happened so unusual. The victim, Victoria Ruvolo, a 44-year-old former manager of a collections agency, was more interested in salvaging the life of her 19-year-old assailant, Ryan Cushing, than in exacting any sort of revenge. She pestered prosecutors for information about him, his life, how he was raised, etc. Then she insisted on offering him a plea deal. Cushing could serve six months in the county jail and be on probation for 5 years if he pleaded guilty to second-degree assault.

“Had he been convicted of first-degree assault—the charge most fitting for the crime—he could have served 25 years in prison, finally thrown back into society as a middle-aged man with no skills or prospects.

“But this is only half the story. The rest of it, what happened the day this all played out in court, is the truly remarkable part.

“According to an account in the New York Post, Cushing carefully and tentatively made his way to where Ruvolo sat in the courtroom and tearfully whispered an apology. ‘I’m so sorry for what I did to you.’

“Ruvolo then stood, and the victim and her assailant embraced, weeping. She stroked his head and patted his back as he sobbed, and witnesses, including a Times reporter, heard her say, ‘It’s OK. I just want you to make your life the best it can be.’ According to accounts, hardened prosecutors, and even reporters, were choking back tears” (“Forgiveness Has Power to Change Future,” Deseret Morning News, Aug. 21, 2005, p. AA3).

What a great story that is, greater because it actually happened, and that it happened in tough old New York. Who can feel anything but admiration for this woman who forgave the young man who might have taken her life?

I know this is a delicate and sensitive thing of which I am speaking. There are hardened criminals who may have to be locked up. There are unspeakable crimes, such as deliberate murder and rape, that justify harsh penalties. But there are some who could be saved from long, stultifying years in prison because of an unthoughtful, foolish act. Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way.

The great Atonement was the supreme act of forgiveness. The magnitude of that Atonement is beyond our ability to completely understand. I know only that it happened, and that it was for me and for you. The suffering was so great, the agony so intense, that none of us can comprehend it when the Savior offered Himself as a ransom for the sins of all mankind.

It is through Him that we gain forgiveness. It is through Him that there comes the certain promise that all mankind will be granted the blessings of salvation, with resurrection from the dead. It is through Him and His great overarching sacrifice that we are offered the opportunity through obedience of exaltation and eternal life.

May God help us to be a little kinder, showing forth greater forbearance, to be more forgiving, more willing to walk the second mile, to reach down and lift up those who may have sinned but have brought forth the fruits of repentance, to lay aside old grudges and nurture them no more. For this I humbly pray, in the sacred name of our Redeemer, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Many Are Called (As Hometeachers),

This is a sum-up of my Elder’s Quorum Lesson. Enjoy!

When I gave my first blessing to Maria, when I was 18 years old, I was terrified out of my mind. I was giving a blessing in front of her non-member parents. My heart was pounding, and I wasn’t sure where to go with the blessing. My dad told me in the car that I should “pray to be able to convey the love that Father has for her, and just open my mouth, knowing that it would be filled.” I remember the feeling more than the words that I gave, like I had done something the way that the Lord wanted me too. My fears reminded me of the words of President Henry B. Eyring:

“I had grown up in the mission field where there was only a tiny branch, which met in my home. Then my family moved to where there were stakes and large wards and chapels and quorums of boys who all seemed to know so much more than I did about what priesthood holders do. They had in that ward a complicated pattern for passing the sacrament. I felt almost certain that I would make a mistake when my turn to pass or prepare the sacrament came.

In my fear and desperation, I remember going outside the chapel to be alone. I was worried. I prayed for help and for some assurance that I would not fail in serving God in His priesthood.

It is now many years later. I have held the Melchizedek Priesthood for more than 50 years. But in the last few days I have prayed with that same pleading for help and assurance that I will not fail in the call which has come to me to serve in the First Presidency. Others seem so much more able to serve and so much better prepared. But as I prayed this time I think I could feel an answer that was probably sent to me outside the Yalecrest Ward chapel long ago. It is the same answer you can expect to get when you face a call to serve in the priesthood which seems beyond you.”

As I have grown and matured in the Gospel, I have given a lot of blessings, and a lot of thought into how to give a good one. Elder Oaks gave a stellar talk in the April 2010 Priesthood Session, concerning this. He said that there are 4 parts of a Priesthood blessing:
1. Anointing
2. Sealing
(The words of the blessing are not a part of the official ordinance! In the missionary handbook, it states that other words after the sealing should be given “as directed by the Spirit.” Elder Oaks elaborates:
“On some choice occasions I have experienced that certainty of inspiration in a healing blessing and have known that what I was saying was the will of the Lord. However, like most who officiate in healing blessings, I have often struggled with uncertainty on the words I should say. For a variety of causes, every elder experiences increases and decreases in his level of sensitivity to the promptings of the Spirit. Every elder who gives a blessing is subject to influence by what he desires for the person afflicted. Each of these and other mortal imperfections can influence the words we speak.
Fortunately, the words spoken in a healing blessing are not essential to its healing effect. If faith is sufficient and if the Lord wills it, the afflicted person will be healed or blessed whether the officiator speaks those words or not. Conversely, if the officiator yields to personal desire or inexperience and gives commands or words of blessing in excess of what the Lord chooses to bestow according to the faith of the individual, those words will not be fulfilled. Consequently, brethren, no elder should ever hesitate to participate in a healing blessing because of fear that he will not know what to say. The words spoken in a healing blessing can edify and energize the faith of those who hear them, but the effect of the blessing is dependent upon faith and the Lord’s will, not upon the words spoken by the elder who officiated.”
3. Faith
4. The Will of the Lord

The anointing and sealing are almost wrote. Faith is something that we have when we ask for, give, and follow the direction of blessings. The blessing works by faith, for “without faith it is impossible to please [the Lord].” Faith is something that we need to have coming into the blessing, and will grow as we act in harmony with the standards the Lord has set for comfort, counsel, or healing.

But accepting the will of the Lord is perhaps the most difficult thing to accept. In a very unscientific survey, I asked 28 girls, and 7 guys, what inspired trust in someone, to ask for a blessing from them, and focused largely on being a trustworthy home teacher. The top 5 answers go as follows.

1. Sincerity: defined by consistently asking what they can do to help, following up on things in their lives that they talked about before, making personalized lessons for them. We are to teach, and of course bless, by the Spirit of God. I think Elder Holland said it best when he said:
“When crises come in our lives--and they will--the philosophies of men interlaced with a few scriptures and poems just won't do. Are we really nurturing our youth and our new members in a way that will sustain them when the stresses of life appear? Or are we giving them a kind of theological Twinkie--spiritually empty calories? President John Taylor once called such teaching "fried froth," the kind of thing you could eat all day and yet finish feeling totally unsatisfied.”
Listening is perhaps the best tool we have in showing sincerity, and in helping solve problems. The following is taken from Preach My Gospel:
When you listen carefully to others, you understand them better. When they know that their thoughts and feelings are important to you, they are more likely to be receptive to your teachings, share personal experiences, and make commitments. As you listen, you will be able to more effectively adapt your teaching to their needs and interests.
Especially listen for the whisperings of the Spirit. As others share their feelings with you, thoughts or ideas may enter your mind that are directed by the Spirit. You will also be able to understand what others are trying to express.
While others talk to you, avoid the tendency to think about what you are going to say. Make sure you are really concentrating on the person speaking rather than planning your response. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught: “More important than speaking is listening. These people are not lifeless objects disguised as a baptismal statistic. They are children of God, our brothers and sisters, and they need what we have. Be genuine. Reach out sincerely. Ask these friends what matters most to them. What do they cherish, and what do they hold dear? And then listen. If the setting is right, you might ask what their fears are, what they yearn for, or what they feel is missing in their lives. I promise you that something in what they say will always highlight a truth of the gospel about which you can bear testimony and about which you can then offer more. . . . If we listen with love, we won’t need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us—by the Spirit and by our friends.”

2. Have contact outside of Church, inviting them to activities.
How often to do we text message, facebook, read blogs, check the weather, etc? How much harder is it to have sincere, weekly contact with those that we care about, and care for?
3. Offer blessings at every teaching appointment.

The following are excerpts from 2 girls, who really went above and beyond for helping me:
“My roommates also said that they really appreciate it when their home teachers remind them that they are always willing to give them a blessing whenever they may need it. I think as women we often feel like we are taking up your time by asking for a blessing, so it is just nice to be reminded that it isn't an inconvenience to give a blessing (unless it is, in which case don't lie) :) and that you are always willing.”
“My home teachers I have felt the most close to have visited regularly and asked me how I was doing with specific questions. They remember things that are important in my life. As the home teachers fulfill their callings, there seems to be a blessing of friendship formed with the home teachees and the home teachers. They would ask if there was anything they could do to help me.... That opens a door for a girl to feel comfortable enough to ask for a blessing. Some girls may have trouble asking for help when they feel like it's just out of the blue. Sometimes we feel like we could be burdening the boys, but when my home teachers tell me right off the
bat, any time, day or night, they are willing to come give me a blessing, I felt so grateful to know I have their support and the priesthood power available to me.”

4. Change into Sunday clothes.
“A couple months ago I asked one of the guys in our ward for a blessing and I really appreciated that he took the time to put on a white shirt and tie. He didn't have a second priesthood holder with him but one of the guys that was visiting my roommate immediately offered to run home and change into Sunday clothes and then help with the blessing. Although it would have probably been a lot easier and quicker for both of them to not have to change, it meant a lot to me that they valued and recognized the great power that they held enough to take those few extra minutes. So moral of the story...as women we really appreciate it when guys wear white shirts and ties to give us a blessing. I understand that there are circumstances where that might not be possible, but we are usually willing to wait those few extra minutes so you can show proper respect and love for the amazing priesthood power that you hold.”
“We also really look up to and respect the guys that show the proper respect while they are blessing and passing the sacrament (or doing other priesthood ordinances like blessings or temple work.) The sacrament is so important and as women we are unable to do it ourselves, so we really appreciate those men that provide us with that opportunity. I think how men view and perform their weekly priesthood responsibility of the sacrament tells us a lot about how much they value the power that they hold to give blessings.”
5. Their attitude in and outside of Church, including language and crude jokes.
“I am so very grateful for so many wonderful men who worthily hold the priesthood. When I have home teachers that I feel really do care about me, there is strong support. I think part of this is due to their stewardship, and also remaining personally worthy.”
B. “Thank you Boys for staying worthy and exercising your priesthood
power. It is so greatly appreciated and cherished by the women.”
The only thing that every guy said was “don’t be judgmental when I ask for help.” Interesting.
Other tidbits:
Texting is not home teaching. (Weird)
People can tell the difference when their hometeachers are praying for them.
Don’t creep on your home teachees. They can’t get away from you.

After this interesting survey, let us consider the words of President Eyring once again:

“Now, tonight let us decide together what we are going to do. All of us, whatever our callings may be, face tasks that are beyond our own powers. I do and you do. That’s true from the simple fact that success is to get testimony down into the hearts of people. We can’t make that happen. Even God won’t force that on anyone.
So success requires people we serve to choose to accept the testimony of the Spirit into their hearts. The Spirit is ready. But many people aren’t ready to invite the Spirit. Our task, which is in our power, is to invite the Spirit into our lives so that people we serve will want to have the fruits of the Spirit in their lives—the fruits that they can see in ours.”

Work hard. Take the time to teach well. Love the people that you serve. Here is the line that ended an e-mail that I think we could do well when making decisions for further action:


“I am so very grateful for so many wonderful men who worthily hold the priesthood. When I have home teachers that I feel really do care about me, there is strong support. I think part of this is due to their stewardship, and also remaining personally worthy. Thank you Boys for staying worthy and exercising your priesthood power. It is so greatly appreciated and cherished by the women.”